The Quilt

She brought it out into the sunlight from the flooded basement.  She washed it again and again and presented it to me on my 40’th birthday.  

“It was the last quilt your grandmother was working on before she passed,” my aunt said, wiping her hands on her apron, a pot roast bubbling in her kitchen.  

“It’s not finished, but I thought you would like to have it.”

In that moment I felt the kind of love you feel when you’re a child.  I knelt on the floor to study it like it was treasure.  Patches of clothing from generations woven together by my grandmother as she sat by the window watching the birds... 

A stranger at my door quickly became my friend as we sat at my dining room table and talked about restoring the quilt,  chatting about family, relationships and grandmothers.  She showed me the places to start.  The tools to use.  Her tone was patient and gentle.  Sweet like a songbird. When she left I laid the quilt out on the floor and took OUT every stitch my grandmother had so carefully sewed IN so I could remove the moldy wool batting inside.  I separated the front and back so we could make two quilts...one for each of my daughters.  I pinned the patches back together exactly where my grandma had intended them to be and then handed it back to my new friend to sew them together again.  All this work to save some old fabric....

The quilts came back beautiful and vibrant, cozy and smelling like sunshine and fabric softener.  Prayed over.  NEW.   Pieces of my daughters clothing had been added to them...dresses when they were babies and special christmas pajamas.  I can’t wait to give the girls these gifts.      

My grandmother has made a handful of quilts and given them to family members across the globe.  I have imagined her in her farmhouse working away on these blankets. Imagined her putting down the thread to have tea with my Grandfather or take a break to feed the barn cats.  I hear her phone ringing with news of a new baby.  See the butter tarts baking in her oven, and the plants growing in her kitchen to bring to a widow at church.  She is there with a glass at the sink taking her pills and waiting for my sister to arrive for a weekend visit.  She is watering her hydrangeas in the afternoon sun while grandpa works in his shop building boats.  I see a buckets of blueberries waiting to be placed in the pies she’ll make, the cows mooing at her laundry strung across the clothes line in the mountain air.  I imagine her putting her sewing in a basket by the bed before she kisses my grandfather goodnight by lamplight.       

My dear Grandmother.  Your memory is ALIVE when I think about these quilts and the sweetness of your ordinary days working on them. 

Taking the stitches OUT of your quilt brought me closer to you, gave me time to think about you, appreciate you.  And seeing them put back IN...reminds me of the redeeming beauty of the Lord’s work...how when we find ourselves in dark places, the damp and mold seeping in, making us feel unworthy,  the Lord lifts us out into the light, and then begins the work of unravelling the lies of the world, stitching back TRUTH until we are NEW and beautiful and feel like we once again have something to offer.  So yes, ALL this work to save some old fabric was worth it...there is so much beauty in restoring what was lost.  

Thank you God...for taking us out of the dark and making us new....your people...a quilt of many colors blowing in the wind. 

Baptism

Our daughter was born a tiny 6 pounds 1 ounce.  She was sweet and delicate, her skin like a butterflies wing against my cheek.  I shared a room with another mother who’s precious baby cried all through the night.  I held Paige against me and covered us with the white hospital sheets to shield her from the noise.  She slept so peacefully I kept waking up just to make sure she was still breathing.

Paige was baptized the week of her 10th birthday. Covered in water with a promise.  I watched her step away from me and her father toward a life of complete trust of the one who can give her much more than a sheet of protection.  I whispered a thank you for this gift of a girl who was now big enough to make decisions all on her own.  

Sometimes we hold them close, not wanting to let go.  Shielding them as if our protection is always a good thing.  The right thing.  The only thing.  I waited so long to baptize Paige.  She asked and asked and I presented my list of reasons to wait.  I asked myself, is she really ready?  I wanted my parents there.  A sunny day. The perfect timing.  MY perfect timing.  Our children aren’t really OURS.  They’re on loan from HIM.  That’s when I heard loud and clear “It’s not about YOU... don’t wait. don’t wait.”

What about you mama?  Do you have a little boy or girl who loves The Lord?  Have they asked to be baptized?  When they asked, what was your response? 

After Paige was baptized women have come up to me to tell me that they witnessed that special day.  A teacher in Paige’s school, a woman in children’s ministry, a lady in my bible study... each woman spoke with tears in her eyes.  Each mama’s heart wanting so much for their own child to chase after The Lord.  To proclaim it.  Some of the women shared stories of their child’s baptism while others said, “I’ve waited, and I don’t know why.”  

It takes courage to stand in front of your church and commit to following The Lord.  But when you do, you make people feel brave.  You show them the beauty of not waiting.            

So when is the right time?  Is it when your child is perfect and mature and can recite the entire bible by memory?  No.  The time is right when they ask.   And your response out of obedience should be YES!  

His timing is perfect while our timing is filled with expectations.  If your child has said YES to God, put those white sheets on the line and let them blow in the wind.  It’s ok to let go, step back and watch your child follow through with one of the most important decisions they will ever make.  His robe of righteousness is more than enough.  It is everything.     

ABOUT BAPTISM

WHAT:  The act of baptism is not to make God love you more.  It’s to show that you are committing to follow and love Him.  

WHO: Anyone who has been baptized and who loves Jesus can baptize.

Anyone who has asked Jesus into their hearts and would like to follow Him can be baptized

WHERE: ACF church 

WHEN: ACF will hold baptism services every 2nd weekend during family worship.   The next baptism will take place on February 8/9.

CONTACT: Julie Washington for more information at julie@acfellowship.org.  512-381-5714

A Prayer For You This Year

Our eyes take in His light

Breathing in the beauty of trees that sway in the wind 

We are nourished by living water

Cleansed by the blood of ancient days

Our feet mark paths on earth

That disappear over time

While our souls seek truth

That lead us into eternity

Dear Lord Jesus, wherever this precious woman may go this year, may her path be marked with your Grace

May she feel

Redeemed

Restored

Revived

And may her soul search for beauty in every breath

Oh this sweet child of God

She is bright

When her eyes are on you and everything you have created for your glory

That your holy name be Magnified.  

Amen

Let your name be magnified forever, saying, 'Yahweh of Armies is God over Israel; and the house of your servant David shall be established before you.' - 2 Samuel 7:26

The Most Beautiful Gift

She holds my hand and gently sweeps the polish on to my nails

Kelly is on her name tag but I know it’s not the name her mother gave her

Home is Vietnam, she says with her broken smile

I’ve seen pictures of this place

Half naked children playing in fields

A history of war

Sunsets that split the sky and earth

She looks at my little one getting her nails polished and watching a fairy movie.  

"We came here for a better life when my daughter was her size" she says.

I feel ashamed. 

For worrying about what my children will wear for Christmas photos and what I will give them at Christmas.  For worrying at all.  Worry means something so different to her.  How I’ve misplaced this word.  A thousand times.   

She tells me The war took her father when she was 13

I want to take the cream from her and rub her feet.  Tell her I’m sorry.

Apologize for all of us, who come in complaining about our layered lives.  Asking that our chipped nails be filed and our eyebrows be waxed to perfection.

I tell her my mother is working in Cambodia close to the Thai border

She knows these places

She rubs my arms like I’m delicate

And I am

I have empty decorated bedrooms

Food on my table

Hot showers in mornings

Delicate

She tells me about her mother...that she died in Vietnam from heart failure.  That she was unable to be there with her. 

I think of my own mother in Cambodia holding a child’s hand.  A teachers hand.  Telling them a story.

I miss her.  Always so far from me.  Why Lord are some mothers so far from home, I ask.

The answer comes, “ALL my daughters are far from home”

And in that moment I know that the connections we make here on earth give us a better understanding of our HOME in heaven.  

I lean over and whisper to her.  What is your real name?     

Maybe the most beautiful gift we can give each other is not something that needs to be wrapped.  Maybe it’s something as simple as a conversation and the telling of a story.  The greatest story ever told wasn’t meant to be shared only on Christmas day in a church.  It was meant for the places we go every single day and for the women like us, who long for home.   

Luke 2:1-20

I am a Morning Light

While it’s still dark and the snow is falling gently outside of our windows I tip toe into my parents room and climb onto their bed.  I tickle my mom and dads backs until they wake up so I can present them with my very best work.     

My drawings.  

My name is Karen-Ann.  I am five years old and I am a morning light.   

What were you like as a little girl? Think of her on a typical morning.  What did she like to do?  Was she sweet?  Joyful?  Carefree?  Playful?  Creative?  Energetic?  

When did you stop being that little girl? 

I stopped being “HER”  in my 20’s.  Actually, it probably started in junior high when the teacher told my parents I was “boy crazy.”  It was true.  I cared about what boys thought.  I cared too much.  

I let one boys voice be more important than my own.  Louder than God’s...and my heart broke into a thousand little pieces.      

Shame held my hand for a long time.

I knew The Lord had forgiven me, but it was when I decided to forgive myself, that out of the dark emerged that beautiful little girl.  By the grace of God, He calls us back.  Back to the place where we are most alive.  Where we do our best work.  Where we can let go of shame and take the hand of freedom.     

The Lord speaks to His children in all different ways doesn’t He?  On this day, about a year ago, He called me back with this vision: The little girl ran to me and hugged me and I dressed her in a white gown.  I sent her back to all the people I had met over the course of my life.  She had so many words to speak.  So much joy to offer.  After each person she met, she would come back to Jesus for His blessing.  He would give her a lantern and she would go back and lay it at the persons feet.  Sometimes he would give her 4 or 5 or 20 lanterns and she would surround the person with them.  When she was finished she came back and sat on His lap.  He gave her a drink of water and said: “ now will you do my work?”  My answer, my voice as clear and confident as trumpets in heaven was “YES, Yes Lord!”  

My name is Karen-Ann.  I am forty years old and I am a morning light.    

What about you sweet friend?  Were you a little girl full of joy but something happened to you or you made some choices that would cloud that joy for a long long time.  

Call that little girl out of hiding.  She wants to reunite with you and speak.  Let her go to Jesus so he can place in her hands the light of his love to share with the world.  It’s not too late.  

That little girl has pictures to draw, songs to sing, people to love and lanterns to share.  

Maybe that little girl is YOU.  

When we wake up from the dark, we let our light shine!  

My name is __________I am ____ years old and I am a morning light. 

The Five Minute Marriage Makeover

I was going to blog about how after 11 years of marriage I fell madly in love with my husband all over again on our recent trip to Alaska, but I feel like that would be cheating. Of course you did, you might say. Anyone could fall in love on vacation without kids, surrounded by beauty and worrying about NOTHING. So I really thought about WHY I fell in love with him and more importantly HOW I could bottle up this feeling and make it last when we got back home to reality. Do you have 5 minutes to try this?  

Take the Five Minute Marriage Makeover!

MINUTE 1

LOOK AT YOUR HUSBAND. 

Yup that’s it.  Look at him.  Not just a quick glance.  Spend the entire minute looking at his face.  Look into his eyes.  A minute is a long time isn’t it? When’s the last time you stared at his face for a whole uninterrupted minute? Be honest.  Days? Weeks?  Years? Your wedding day? Keep looking. He does have beautiful eyes doesn’t he? Maybe he has some new lines on his face.  He works hard. Keep looking. Matthew 6:22 The eye is the lamp of the body.  If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.      

MINUTE 2 

SMELL YOUR HUSBAND

Ok, before you shut off your computer and mutter “weirdo” at the screen...just give it a chance.  I promise you this works!  

Smell his hair.  His neck.  His shirt.  JUST DO IT.  For a whole minute just breath him in. (WARNING: do not attempt minute 2 if your husband has just returned from a mountain trek for an entire week without running water.)  Genesis 3:16 Your desire shall be for your husband.

MINUTE 3

HOLD YOUR HUSBANDS HAND

Just hold it.  For a minute.  No talking.  No T.V.  No noise.  No phone.  Hold his hand.  Look out at the sky.  Notice the trees...how they sway in the wind.  Listen to the birds.  Your hand in his is part of the Lord’s plan. Feel that.  Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.   

MINUTE 4

SERVE HIM

Bring him some hot peppermint tea and drink it with him.  

Make him a sandwich. (oddly the key to many a man’s heart)

Anything that takes a minute. Make it.  Serve it.  Ephesians 5:22 Wives submit to your husbands as you do to The Lord.    

MINUTE 5

HELP HIM.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

God says that woman was created to be her husbands helper but how often do we ask what kind of help would be useful or valuable to our husband? I know I can get caught up in my own daily to-dos. I have a list a mile long of things I need to do to help my kids, but what about my husband? He came first before the kids were born. What about now? Where does your husband feel he ranks in your household?    

WHY do these 5 simple things work?  

Because that’s how you fell in love with him the first time.  

Our senses have a memory. Using them in a very simple and intentional way can bring you back. 

You stared at his handsome face. You inhaled his cologne.  You held his hand and felt like it fit like no other. You wanted to please him, to help him.  To stand along side him.  In 5 minutes I bet you knew he was “the one.”  He still is..but maybe the world came in like a wave and washed away those feelings? So many distractions pulling you apart.  Ya’ll, Alaska took my breath away. It was beautiful but that’s not what made me fall in love with my man. It was that all of the daily distractions were far from my mind and I was focused on him. Just him.  What if for a few minutes every single day you put all of your distractions away and just stand by your man. You don’t need to go to Alaska or Hawaii to reignite your passion for your marriage. You only need 5 minutes right here.  Right now. (p.s don’t be afraid to put your proverbial 1950’s housewife apron on, whisk the kids outside to play and lock the door!  That’s how our parents did it!   

Dear Lord Jesus.  Thank you for the gift of marriage. Help to heal and grow my marriage. Ignite in us a desire for each other.  A love and a bond that will strengthen and grow and not be broken. Help me to respect my husband. To honor him. To forgive him and love him. To see him as you have created him. Help me to stand back from myself and be my husbands greatest helper. Bind our marriage in a circle of love, faithfulness and trust that no-one and no thing can break.  Protect us Lord.  Use us.  Fill us.  That we may know you better. We give you the glory Lord forever and ever Amen.

Dear God,

I’m such a mess. 

My kids raced to their first day of school without looking back.  They were confident, happy, excited.  I was the one doing the “ugly cry” in the hallway and I’m the one looking back.  I’m seeing the past ten years flash before my eyes.  I’m realizing that those moms that stopped me in the grocery store to pinch my babies cheeks and tell me to enjoy it because it’s all so fast...were right.  

It is. All. So. Fast.  

And now I’m home in the quiet.  

The past ten years I have been desperate for 5 mins to myself and now I have more than 5 whole hours every day to myself and I’m wondering whose fingers will dip into my cake batter?  Who’s little hands will bring me a barbie and ask to put a fancy bun in her hair? Who will sneak the hamster out of it’s cage and carry it around like a doll?  The bird will be quietly waiting for the piano to play.  Lunch will be orderly and uneventful.  The tv will be off.  The pool will be still.  There will be no toys to put away.  I will go to the bathroom and expect to hear “mommy....mommy where are you”  but it will be quiet.  

I have asked you for quiet.  Begged you for stillness.  Asked why did I get the loud girls?  The lively girls?  The spirited ones?  Just give me peace!  

Now I understand the gifts you have given me.  

The loud ones fill your ears completely.  Deeply.  

The lively girls fill your days with excitement and joy.

The spirited ones keep you oh so busy 

So on the quiet days...the still days...you can appreciate how full they have made your life.  How full they have made your heart.

There is a time for everything under the sun...  

Thank you God for teaching me every single day about life.  I am such a mess...without you.