Spare A Little Grace?

You’re at the grocery store getting milk, bread and oh you’re here anyway so you might as well pick up a pint of Bluebell ice cream. Make it two. You notice a woman yelling at a beautiful child no bigger than a flowerpot. You don’t hear what she’s saying because you are so taken by this sweet little girl whose large brown eyes seem to say “take me home and be my mommy.” You are angry with the yelling woman and leave the store thinking, “What is wrong with that woman?!”

I

You’re having a lovely dinner out with your husband. The kids are at home tucked in bed and sleeping under the watchful eye of the best babysitter in town. You’ve just talked about the kids, work, and plans for a vacation. There is a pause. Your husband mentions how high the grocery bill has been lately. Another pause. (You know you’ve over spent the budget this month and you need to deflect!) You say, “You wouldn’t believe how many pairs of shoes Mary from down the street has. We’re not talking Target here. For the amount of money she has spent on shoes, we could take our entire family to Disney World! You are so lucky that YOUR wife is not high maintenance.” (You grin and play footsies under the table)

AM

You call your sister with exciting news. You got your first teaching job. Your sister is happy for you but she can’t talk. The kids need dinner. The smallest one is crying into the phone. The dog is eating someone’s library book. She says a quick goodbye and hangs up. You think to yourself about how your sister never has time for a phone conversation and there’s always an interruption if she does. Why have three kids if you can’t handle them! I mean, how hard can it be?

BETTER

You’ve just finished your fifth batch of homemade baby food and placed it in ice cube trays for the freezer labeled and dated. Laundry done. Check. Dinner ready. Check. Kids homemade Halloween costumes made and ironed. Check. You look at the clock. Husband due to arrive home in 15 minutes. Lipstick? Check. Just enough time left over to call your sister and tell her how perfect you are! Check.

THAN

Your best friend hasn’t called in 3 months. You’re thinking it’s time you find a new best friend.

YOU

Romans 12:3
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

Spare a little grace for the women in your life. It’s easy to judge others when you haven’t been in their shoes. If you were the one being misjudged how would you feel? Why do we expect the women in our lives to be perfect when we’re not? The truth is, our friends, mothers, mother in laws, sisters and neighbors are huge supporters of us! If we walk around judging them we diminish the bond we share and alienate ourselves from what we crave most. Connection.
Spare a little grace and ask that a little grace be spared for you -- after all, God will willingly supply us with all the grace we need, we just have to go to Him for it!

By Karen-Ann J. Harrison

Women I Admire

A wife of noble character who can find? She is far worth more than rubies.

Proverbs 31:10

This verse paints the picture of the ideal woman. She gets up while it is still dark, provides for her family, speaks wisdom, is clothed in strength and dignity and can laugh at the days ahead. How many of us wake up striving to fit this ideal only to be faced with the daily challenges that unravel us before we’re even dressed for the day. Your 20 minutes of morning solitude with a fresh cup of coffee is suddenly replaced with a crying baby in need of a diaper change, a dog that wants his walk NOW, a husband who tells you he’ll be out of town until Friday and can you please call the repair man because the air conditioner has broken again. What happened to “her children arise and call her blessed” and “her husband also praises her.”! The ideal woman fades behind a sea of laundry, a needy family and an endless day of demands.

I have to admit that while I want to fit the ideals of Proverbs 31, I often fall short and look to women who seem to have it together for the secret of their success! The women I admire would humbly admit that appearances are deceiving, and that being “together” comes not from gleaming floors and the art of the perfect pot roast, but from having faith, believing in something greater than their own accomplishments, and serving others with a humble heart. These women are honest, vulnerable enough to show you the dust in their closets and open enough to share with you the joys and pains of their journey.

My grandmother sets her table with the same dishes she’s had since the day she got married almost 60 years ago. She wants for nothing and waste is not an option in her home. In a throw away society obsessed with quick fixes and material possessions, I admire my grandmothers respect for the environment and how her values have shaped the way she lives. She lives simply and derives her strength through the struggles of growing older from the bible. Admirable.

My other grandmother raised 6 children on her own without the benefit of a tv crew and donations from well wishers. When my grandma found herself overwhelmed, she turned to The Lord who became her guide and comforter. Even now that her children are grown, she is still taking care of others with a servant’s heart. Both grandparents have influenced me greatly and are women who truly know, love and serve the Lord with all their hearts.

I admire my friend Diane who when faced with news of breast cancer and a double mastectomy said “let’s get this over with, I have a beach vacation planned”! Her faith unwavering, she remained positive as her beautiful blond hair fell to the floor and her days became structured around chemo sessions, and constant fatigue. There is a picture of Diane I can’t get out of my head. She is sitting in a hospital chair getting chemo and she’s smiling. Smiling! The thing about it that strikes me is not just that she is smiling in the picture, but that every time I’ve seen her since she’s been diagnosed, she’s smiling. The strength that is in this woman is beyond what we are capable of. She will tell you it comes from “letting go and letting God”. Admirable.

My mother was my first role model and is my constant counselor. She faithfully followed my military father from posting to posting. She always made us feel like we were headed for an exciting adventure and when my sister and I would worry about being the new girls yet again she would fill our heads with confidence, and our lunch bags with love notes. No matter where we went we had the comfort of home thanks to our mom. When my father retired he was the one following her to Hong Kong so my mom could live out her calling as a teacher. She blesses so many families with her positive energy and love for the Lord. The first thing my mom does for me when I go to her with a concern is pray for me, something she’s relied on over the years to carry her through the ups and downs of her life. Admirable.

And the list goes on. I admire the woman who exposes her past so she might be an example to the struggling woman beside her. The woman who shares her pain so another might feel more at ease. There are those too, who I don’t know that I admire from a distance. Women who are raising children in war torn countries. Women of political influence trying to make a difference. Women who know love and serve the Lord in communities that aren’t accepting of faith in Christ or of women’s voices. Admirable. Admirable. Admirable.

I am so thankful for the women who collectively show me what it takes to be amazing and admirable. Women who mirror Proverbs 31 not because they’re perfect, but because they’ve let go and let God, lifted their struggles in prayer, helped others with a servants heart and because they respect the life God has given them and won’t take it for granted. Women worthy of admiration are women who strive to be ideal, but who humbly admit that they alone are not.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

The next time you are in the company of a friend, mother-in-law or church sister, get to know her beyond the surface and you might be surprised at what you find. Someone with a story, someone hurting, loving, longing, striving…you might find yourself admiring her not because she’s perfect but because she’s human. If you do, please tell her you admire her….she would love to hear it. Women need the support of other women. We need to lift each other up and be honest about what we’re facing on a daily basis. It’s not a competition, it’s a journey. Share it!

Posted by Karen Harrison