If you are a mom then chances are you’ve held your child in your arms and asked yourself “What if?”
When we bring home our precious new baby still sleepy, completely vulnerable and dependent on us for every ounce of nourishment, it’s only natural that thoughts of “what if” begin to creep in. What if I can’t nurse? What if there is something wrong with my baby? The “what if’s” only intensify as the years pass and the bond we share with our growing child becomes unbreakable. What if my sweet child gets sick? What if I get on a plane and the plane crashes leaving my child motherless? Women worry about things like this. We worry and we question and I’m told it doesn’t stop when our children leave the nest.
As a mother of 2 girls I’ve let my mind go to those dark questions that can unravel a woman in a heartbeat. Once on a vacation in British Columbia my family and I enjoyed a leisurely afternoon by a beautiful lake with mountain views. I watched my children run into the water like baby turtles drifting in the tide. When Annalise, my youngest had had enough she plunked herself down at my feet to build sand castles and in the seconds it took for her to show me her masterpiece, I had lost sight of my older daughter by the lake. Seconds. She wasn’t where my eyes had left her. My eyes frantically searched left and right. I am up walking. Running. My heart beating. The beautiful lake setting now a backdrop to a nightmare. My child. Where is my child? The “What if’s” strangle my thoughts. What if a stranger has taken her? What if she drowned? What if I never see her again? A very long 5 minutes later she came running to me and the squeeze around my heart loosened.
I was lucky that day. The what if’s came and left just as soon as I embraced my child but what about the moms that have asked the “what if’s” and then been faced with the reality of having to live through them. What if this pregnancy doesn’t go to term? What if my child gets cancer? Amazingly the women I know who have had to live out these unbearable questions have battled the sadness, pain, anger and age old question of “Why me Lord” with such beauty, grace and unbelievable strength that can only come from God alone.
I don’t know why bad things happen to such good people, but I do know without a doubt that the “what if’s” are best given up in prayer to the one who can heal, the one who gives hope and mercy and the one we call Lord and Savior.
I’ve seen through these sweet courageous women, the power of God’s love pouring out to greet them where they’re at, breathing life into their souls and giving them goodness, beauty and joy where there is heartache and ugliness. These women have been through the unthinkable and yet when you look into their eyes you see peace. Beauty. Gratitude. Love. And I can honestly say the only question that I’m glad I never have to ask is “What if” they didn’t know Jesus?
Give your “What if’s” to the Lord in prayer. Trust Him.
A mother who walks with God knows He only asks her to take care of the possible and to trust HIM with the impossible; she does not need to fret. ~ Ruth Bell Graham
