I’m such a mess.
My kids raced to their first day of school without looking back. They were confident, happy, excited. I was the one doing the “ugly cry” in the hallway and I’m the one looking back. I’m seeing the past ten years flash before my eyes. I’m realizing that those moms that stopped me in the grocery store to pinch my babies cheeks and tell me to enjoy it because it’s all so fast...were right.
It is. All. So. Fast.
And now I’m home in the quiet.
The past ten years I have been desperate for 5 mins to myself and now I have more than 5 whole hours every day to myself and I’m wondering whose fingers will dip into my cake batter? Who’s little hands will bring me a barbie and ask to put a fancy bun in her hair? Who will sneak the hamster out of it’s cage and carry it around like a doll? The bird will be quietly waiting for the piano to play. Lunch will be orderly and uneventful. The tv will be off. The pool will be still. There will be no toys to put away. I will go to the bathroom and expect to hear “mommy....mommy where are you” but it will be quiet.
I have asked you for quiet. Begged you for stillness. Asked why did I get the loud girls? The lively girls? The spirited ones? Just give me peace!
Now I understand the gifts you have given me.
The loud ones fill your ears completely. Deeply.
The lively girls fill your days with excitement and joy.
The spirited ones keep you oh so busy
So on the quiet days...the still days...you can appreciate how full they have made your life. How full they have made your heart.
There is a time for everything under the sun...
Thank you God for teaching me every single day about life. I am such a mess...without you.
